


The Difficulties of Confessing

by greyapplegeek



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Sequel, beagle line being bros
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-24
Updated: 2015-03-24
Packaged: 2018-03-19 11:37:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3608667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/greyapplegeek/pseuds/greyapplegeek
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sequel to <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/3205772">Pet me more</a>. Chanyeol has to ask for advice four times before he gains the courage to confess to Jongdae, but even then things don’t really go as planned.<br/>(basically chanyeol being awkward. that’s the whole fic i’m not kidding)</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Difficulties of Confessing

**Author's Note:**

> so people were asking for a sequel, so here you go! it’s a bit different from pet me more ~~so prepare to be disappointed~~ but i hope you’ll like it! (on [aff](http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/927061/the-difficulties-of-confessing-fluff-exo-chenyeol-chanchen))

Chanyeol had a problem. To state things bluntly, that problem was Kim Jongdae. Or rather, the fact that Chanyeol was pretty much head over heels for the other man.

Chanyeol liked everything about Jongdae. From his good-hearted and caring but still mischievous personality to his marvellous jawline, cheekbones and constantly grinning lips. Seriously, Chanyeol really had a thing for those lips. Worth mentioning was also his amazing vocals that could make Chanyeol feel all kinds of emotions whenever he heard the other sing. It was a miracle he hadn’t accidentally lost himself in the sound of Jongdae’s smooth voice during one of their live performances yet.

The thing was that Chanyeol had only barely realised that he had a ~~gigantic~~ crush on the vocalist. He knew he always had a soft spot for Jongdae, and that the two of them had a special connection between each other being beagle line troublemakers and  Bros for Life™, but it had only been a few days ago since he figured out that his feelings for Jongdae were a bit different from the kinds of feelings you have for the usual bro. Now that Chanyeol thought about it, maybe he'd had a tiny crush on that small, cheeky vocalist from M since the beginning, but it didn't start for real until they did their activities all together and they finally got to hang around each other more. After all, ever since K and M became one he'd been pretty much glued to Jongdae. Why didn't he realise it earlier?

 

  


It all came to him that night when he couldn’t sleep. While lying in bed his head was full of thoughts, and to be honest, most of them were about a certain short vocalist with a nice smile and a playful personality. Actually, Jongdae had occupied a lot of his thoughts lately, and that night Chanyeol was thinking of him again. The thoughts really didn’t help Chanyeol fall asleep, since he felt his whole body stir and chest grow warmer. One thought in particular stood out to Chanyeol, a memory of that one time Jongdae had petted him on stage. That’s when he got the idea to get Jongdae help him fall asleep doing the same thing they had done back then. And it worked!

It wasn’t until the next morning that the realisation hit Chanyeol for real, even though he had thought about it the night before. That morning, he had kissed Jongdae on the cheek as a thanks, and isn’t kissing someone, even if it was barely a peck, a romantic gesture? Would he have done it with anyone else? No, not really. He really just wanted to do it with Jongdae, and preferably multiple times, properly, on the lips. Actually, full-on making out with the older seemed like a very, _very_ nice idea.

That time, before things could get out of hand, Chanyeol had rushed out of the kitchen and into the bathroom, trying to calm down his spinning head and far too quickly beating heart. He really had feelings for Jongdae… romantic feelings. This was bad.

 

\---

 

Chanyeol had always considered himself an optimistic person who didn’t have any trouble at all speaking his mind, but he found it kind of difficult to see this situation from an optimistic point of view. It had been a few days since he realised he wanted his relationship with Jongdae to be more romantic than platonic, and he hadn’t told the other anything about that yet. The risk of Jongdae not liking him back, in _that_ way, was too large for Chanyeol to even attempt to confess. And even though the older didn’t push Chanyeol away (instead, he actually _blushed_ ) when he was pecked, it didn’t mean Jongdae was seeing Chanyeol as anything other than a good friend and bandmate.

Chanyeol was sure Jongdae wasn’t going to judge him, but the fear of being rejected was keeping him from telling the other about his feelings. Instead, Chanyeol kept his emotions to himself, even though he got this stirring sensation in his chest and stomach every time Jongdae talked to him, and he felt like he was going to explode whenever the older initiated skinship (or even if they just accidentally touched each other).

At the same time, Chanyeol still had a tiny bit of optimism left in him and hoped that the fact that Jongdae had agreed to help him that night was a sign that Jongdae somehow shared his feelings. So maybe he should (at least try to) make a move on the other?

The rapper’s head evidently felt like a mess, so he decided that maybe asking for help was worth a try. And who would be a better person to ask for help from than his leader hyung, the members’ go-to person for advice, Junmyun? Chanyeol just had to try to make it seem like his question was out of curiosity and didn’t really have anything to do with him, because he didn’t want anyone to know about his embarrassingly huge crush on Jongdae. But since it was Junmyun he was going to ask, the risks of that happening weren’t so big.

  


"Junmyun hyung?"

Chanyeol was lucky enough to spot the leader sitting alone in the living room reading a comic book. Good, that meant no presence of any other member that could overhear them.

“Hm? Oh, Chanyeol, what is it?” Junmyun looked up from his book. Chanyeol took a deep breath and sat down next to the older, starting to unconsciously tap his own knee with his fingers.

“I’m… just wondering about a thing. Could I ask you something?”

“Yes, of course, ask away!” Junmyun seemed somewhat curious, probably because of Chanyeol’s apparent serious mood, so the younger continued.

“What would you do if you liked someone who’s your close friend? Would you confess to them, even if that meant you could possibly be ruining things between you?”

Junmyun looked like he thought over the question.

“Well…” he began, “that depends on the situation, I guess. It’s important to be honest about your feelings… However, you might not want to confess directly if you’re afraid of ruining your friendship with the other”, he looked like he was pondering about something again.

“Ah! I know. I would take the other person out for a nice, romantic evening with a dinner at a cosy restaurant. That’ll make them realise your feelings for them and probably accept them too since you spent such a romantic evening together”, Junmyun said. Chanyeol could see what he meant, but being idols left them no time to go have romantic dinner dates. Also, going out might mean getting spotted by fans who could capture all their moments together and put it up online, which wouldn’t be that great if the dinner date actually turned out to be, well, _romantic_.

So Chanyeol just shook his head gently, feeling like Junmyun didn’t quite understand the situation. He then tried again to get a good answer out of him.

“Yeah, but if you don’t have any time to do that? And also, what if getting into a relationship with the other would be bad for, say, your career and, um… reputation? Would you still try to confess then?”

Junmyun eyed him suspiciously.

“Chanyeol, why are you asking this?”

“U-uh, it’s really nothing personal, if that’s what you think! The thing is, I was just watching a drama where the protagonist is a famous pop star who’s very much in love with this guy, who is, um… just a normal guy who’s not famous or anything, and she fears getting together with him might ruin her reputation, y’know. Also, she’s pretty sure he just sees her as a friend, anyway… It’s very intense and I’m just really thinking about what she should do next, while I’m waiting for the next episode to air”, Chanyeol said all that in a mouthful, but he was pretty proud of himself for coming up with that without having had the time to prepare a good excuse. Junmyun seemed convinced, too, and Chanyeol silently thanked the heavens for that.

“Ah, that’s a difficult situation. But since it’s a drama, I’m sure things will turn out fine sooner or later!” Junmyun said while chuckling good-heartedly, bringing his gaze back to his book.

“But don’t you have _any_ thoughts on what I-, uh, she should do?” Chanyeol almost felt a bit frustrated.

Junmyun just chuckled again.

“Aren’t you too immersed into this drama for your own good? But okay, I’ve actually read about a similar situation in one of my comic books, although the roles were reversed. The heroine received a confession from her love interest in the end”, Junmyun smiled, making Chanyeol realise that this was probably the closest thing to advice he could get from the leader, so why not listen to it?

“Oh, how did her love interest confess then?”

“He actually brought her up on stage while he was performing and kissed her in front of the whole audience and live TV. It sounds a bit cheesy, I know, but it was super romantic, too!”

Chanyeol felt his hopes for good advice disappear faster than a chocolate bar would if you were to leave one in the members’ shared refrigerator. There was no way he could confess to Jongdae like that, no way at all. He sighed and looked down at his knees, realising that he’d been rhythmically tapping his knee out of nervousness during the entirety of their conversation. Quickly, he removed his hands.

“Ok, yeah, thanks hyung. I’ll just be expecting the next episode of the drama, then”, he said, slowly making his way away from the older.

“No problem!” Junmyun yet again started to focus on the book he was reading and Chanyeol left, not feeling any more confident than before.

 

\---

 

He still wanted, scratch that, he _needed_ some actual good advice, especially since the only advice he’d gotten was from a clichéd romance comic (Chanyeol really wondered why Junmyun read those kinds of comic books, but considering the size of the older’s collection he wouldn’t be surprised if he were to find a couple of cheesy girls’ manhwa in there as well). So he started to count the possible members he could ask on his fingers.

The three maknaes were out of the question, there was no way they could help him with this and he wasn’t going to ask them anyway. Asking Kyungsoo would just be awkward (what did he know about romance anyway?), and he couldn’t ask Jongdae for obvious reasons. The thought of asking Baekhyun made him fear for his life, so instead he settled on Yixing.

Actually, Chanyeol felt like Yixing would be pretty knowledgeable when it came to being honest and showing your feelings. The Chinese dancer was known for always showing his love and care for others, such as all of their fans, but also for the other members and the teams of people they worked with. Yeah, Yixing could probably be of very much help.

  


Chanyeol didn’t get the chance to speak to Yixing until the next morning when they were all getting into the car that was taking them to practice. Instead of joining Jongdae (who was sitting near the front of the car) like he usually did, Chanyeol went to sit next to the two Chinese members who had seated themselves in the back. Jongdae turned around and pouted at him for his actions, and Chanyeol simply smiled sheepishly in return, trying to ignore the tingling sensation that he felt in his stomach after seeing Jongdae react like that. The vocalist waved at Jongin to come join him instead, and draped an arm over the younger’s shoulders and leaned against him when he did so. Chanyeol, knowing that Jongdae just did that to annoy him, tried to ignore the other and instead turned to Yixing and pointed him in the side.

“Hey, hyung.”

Yixing faced him with a smile.

“Oh, good morning, Chanyeol.”

“‘Morning.” Luckily, Tao who was sitting on the other side of Yixing seemed to be asleep, so Chanyeol decided to take the opportunity to ask Yixing right at that moment.

“Y’know, hyung, there’s one thing I would like your opinion on. Let’s say that you have this really good friend of yours that you… possibly might have romantic feelings for. The thing is that you’re pretty sure they don’t have the same feelings for you.” He let out a breath and continued. “I know it’s early in the morning and all that, but I’m just wondering, what would you do in that situation?”

Yixing looked at him for a second before answering.

“That’s a very difficult question you’re asking me. But I think… it really is the best to be honest with yourself and, more importantly, your friend, and let them know about your feelings”, he finally said. Chanyeol sighed, his answer was pretty similar to Junmyun’s.

“Okay, but, if you think it’s going to ruin your friendship, and that your friend might stop trusting you and the two of you will fall apart?”

At that, Yixing looked at him sharply.

“Actually, I think it’s going to end up the opposite way. Nothing breaks apart a friendship more than lying to each other. Being honest takes you far, and your friendship will only grow stronger if you can tell each other anything that’s on your mind, including things like that.” The dancer nodded to himself. “If they’re a really good friend, they wouldn’t judge you and your friendship won’t be ruined even if they don’t like you back.”

Chanyeol was pretty baffled over Yixing’s ability to sound like an old wise man sometimes, but he still thought the other didn’t understand the situation entirely, just like with Junmyun. If Yixing knew the question was about Chanyeol’s feelings for Jongdae, would he still have given the same answer to the question? Chanyeol doubted that, but he couldn’t really test it since he didn’t want anyone to know about his feelings for his friend.

“I guess so, thanks hyung”, he said instead, giving up. Yixing didn’t seem to want to end the conversation though.

“You should write a song and confess to them with it! It’s a perfect way of conveying your feelings without having to tell them directly, just using music to express them instead”, Yixing smiled supportively at Chanyeol.

“That’s actually a very nice id-” Chanyeol began, but then realised something.

“Wait, since when is this conversation about me?! I-I’m not confessing to anyone!”

“Oh, I just figured since-”

“It was, uh, it was a hypothetical question! It didn’t have anything to do with me, I was just curious!” Chanyeol was nearly shouting and Yixing tried to calm him down by putting a hand on his shoulder.

“Okay, whatever you say”, Yixing said, soon followed by the voice of Tao, who probably woke up because of all the ruckus.

“Who is it that Chanyeol hyung isn’t confessing to?” the youngest of the three asked, sleepiness apparent in his voice.

“No one, and why do _you_ care about that?” Chanyeol said rather rudely, not wanting everyone in the entire world to know.

“To be honest I don’t really care, but it was kinda hard to miss since you shouted so loudly”, Tao replied and before Chanyeol could say anything in return, he continued to speak.

“But if you are confessing to someone, do it properly. You have to be romantic, okay? Buy them something nice and tell them about your feelings in detail. If you confess sloppily I’ll seriously feel so bad for the person you’re confessing to.”

Chanyeol felt mildly irritated, partly because of the fact that everyone seemed to think he had a crush on someone now, and partly because this kid acted like he knew more about this kind of stuff than Chanyeol did. Okay, Tao wasn’t even a whole year younger than him, but still.

“I just said, I’m not confessing to anyone, because there’s no one I have feelings for! Is it that hard to understand?!”

Yixing said something in Chinese to Tao that Chanyeol didn’t quite catch, but the youngest’s snort afterwards made Chanyeol childishly turn around and look out the window during the rest of the ride.

 

\---

 

Chanyeol was well aware that he’d been avoiding Jongdae ever since that morning when he had given the other a small kiss. It wasn’t like he wanted to avoid him, but he just did it instinctively, as if it was some kind of reflex. He didn’t want things to get weird between them and he was afraid that being around the vocalist would feel awkward, somehow. And even though he really tried not to show the fact that he was avoiding him, it seemed like Jongdae found out anyway.

It was during the end of the same day that Chanyeol had asked Yixing for advice in the car. Chanyeol was sitting in the living room sofa, idly watching some variety show on TV while playing a game on his phone.

He looked up from the touch screen when he suddenly felt the sofa sink beside him. Jongdae had seated himself right next to him, with his back turned to Chanyeol’s direction. The position of the other made Chanyeol confused, so he laid down his phone and knocked lightly on Jongdae’s shoulder.

“What are you doing?”

“What do you think? I’m obviously asking you to massage my back for me”, Jongdae replied, and Chanyeol just knew the other was rolling his eyes even though he couldn’t see his face.

“I’m only doing that if you ask me nicely”, Chanyeol said, feeling kinda nervous to be having his first one-on-one conversation with Jongdae since _that_ morning.

“Oh, sorry. I beg of you, Chanyeol, my dearest dongsaeng, can you please massage an old man’s aching back with your youthful and strong hands?” the vocalist replied, voice dripping with sarcasm.

“We’re the same age, you dumbass!” Chanyeol laughed, but began massaging the other’s back anyway. He was just really happy and relieved that his friend was being his normally playful self.

“To be exact, you’re actually a bit younger than me, so do as your hyung says”, Jongdae retaliated, and started to relax into Chanyeol’s touch.

Chanyeol actually enjoyed giving Jongdae massages (or rather, touching the other in general), because Jongdae’s enjoyment of the movements spread to him very easily and made him enjoy it as well. Also, it was a nice excuse to get to cop a feel of the older’s shoulders and back. Despite being thin and tiny, the other man also had some pretty impressive muscles in the right places, especially around his shoulders and upper arms. The mentioned shoulders therefore felt nice and firm under Chanyeol’s touch, and feeling Jongdae becoming more and more relaxed wasn’t so bad either. Chanyeol could seriously stay like this for a long time…

But of course, Chanyeol’s thoughts were interrupted by that inevitable question coming from Jongdae’s mouth.

“Have you been avoiding me?” Chanyeol knew this question would be coming sooner or later, but it still made his heart jump.

“No? Why do you-“

“I’m just wondering, okay? This morning, you didn’t sit next to me in the car like you always do, and prior to that you just kinda seemed like you tried to dodge every opportunity we’ve had to be by ourselves, and… I don’t know…” Jongdae sighed and Chanyeol just wanted to hug him and apologise for being such a douchebag, but then he’d have to explain why he’s been avoiding him, and he really didn’t want Jongdae to know what a mess his feelings were at the moment.

“I’m really not trying to avoid you or anything, I’m sorry if I’ve made you think so. I’ve just been… kinda tired, I guess. And about this morning, I just sat with Yixing hyung because I needed to ask him something urgent”, Chanyeol tried to explain. At least he was being honest about the thing with Yixing.

“Seriously, Jongdae, what makes you think that? I would never try to avoid you, you should know that.”

“Really?” Jongdae had turned around now, facing Chanyeol, both of them had forgotten about what they’d been doing in the first place. The older of the two had such a worried look on his face, and Chanyeol realised that Jongdae must value their friendship a lot, since he reacted so strongly. He couldn’t stop himself from reaching forward and in an affectionate gesture adjust the other’s fringe, putting some stray hairs into place. Jongdae’s facial expression softened at the action, and even more so when he heard Chanyeol answer his question.

“Really.”

Chanyeol’s smile made the other smile as well, and they just sat there for a moment, smiling at each other.

“So… we’re okay?” Jongdae then said, breaking the silence.

“Yup!”

“Then, can I ask what it was that you wanted to ask Yixing hyung that you couldn’t ask me about?”

“Oh, yeah… It was about guitar playing techniques”, Chanyeol lied. Jongdae, not knowing that, laughed.

“Yeah, I guess I couldn’t be much of a help then…”

 

\---

 

After lying to Jongdae, Chanyeol felt bad. Really bad. Maybe he should just tell him the truth instead. Tell him how hard it is to be around him when the sight of him make Chanyeol’s thoughts travel in all kinds of directions and his heart beat faster. And how difficult it is to concentrate during dance practice nowadays when all Chanyeol seems to be able to focus on is Jongdae’s body’s movements to the music (his dancing had definitely improved, just like people said). And how Chanyeol sometimes wants to not give a shit about what everyone else thinks and do exactly like the love interest in Junmyun’s cheesy comic book had done and kiss Jongdae, right in front of the whole world. But he obviously couldn’t do that. He kinda wished he was gutsy enough to at least say those things to Jongdae. But nope, he couldn’t even do that. At times like these, the normally confident and optimistic Chanyeol felt pretty useless.

  


While walking by his oldest hyung’s room when he was on his way to the bathroom, Chanyeol realised that he had yet to ask Minseok for advice. Since he was the oldest, he was probably quite experienced and knowledgeable. So wouldn’t he be a lot of help?

That was Chanyeol’s reasoning when he suddenly stopped, walked back a metre or two and then knocked on the door in front of him.

Minseok answered instantly, and Chanyeol walked in, sitting himself down on the bed opposite Minseok’s without asking for permission. Minseok didn’t care though, but he looked up, looking a bit surprised over Chanyeol’s arrival in the room.

“Chanyeol?” the older said questioningly, tilting his head a bit in curiosity.

“Hi, hyung… There’s… this thing I want to ask you about, and, uh, I’ve asked some other people too but they haven’t given me any good answers, but i figured you might be able to, so… yeah”, Chanyeol uttered, and after that he pretty much repeated the same question he’d asked Junmyun and Yixing. As he talked, a small smile formed on Minseok’s lips.

“Okay, so I don’t know what answers the others have been giving you, but I feel like the best idea is for you to tell them your feelings”, he started, but then Chanyeol interrupted him.

“I did actually say, this is all hypothetical and doesn’t have anything to do with me, okay? I’m not asking for my own purpose, I’m just a bit curious, that’s all!”

Minseok just rolled his eyes at that.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever you say, but _as I said_ , the best idea is for the subject of the question to confess to the other, no matter how difficult the situation may feel, because who knows, in the future it might be too late…” he looked up at the ceiling with an unreadable expression, having trailed off. Chanyeol didn’t notice Minseok’s sudden change of emotion though, for he just rubbed his eyes in frustration.

“Yeah, but I don’t think you understand-” Chanyeol began, but he couldn’t finish his sentence.

“Oh, I understand alright”, Minseok said, still keeping calm.

“I understand better than you think”, he said again, eyes filled with a somewhat melancholic look. Chanyeol realised that he wasn’t going to get much more advice than this from the older, so he thanked him and left the room, finally going to the bathroom which had been where he was supposed to go in the first place.

 

\---

 

A day later, Chanyeol found himself standing in front of an all too familiar door. He had dreaded this moment, but it was pretty much his only option left. After all, this was the guy who was probably the most likely to understand him and give him actual useful advice, since he had experience in dating a fellow idol. Chanyeol sighed and then opened the door to where the oldest of the ‘92 liners was currently residing.

“Baek? I kinda need help with a thing… Or, I want to ask you something.”

Baekhyun looked up at Chanyeol and grinned, noticing that the younger seemed a little bit more serious than usual when he sat himself down beside the older.

“What can I help you with, mister Park?” he said in a sleazy manner and Chanyeol cringed, thinking that maybe he should just turn around because Baekhyun wasn’t going to let him live this down, really.

“I’m just wondering… How did you confess to Taeyeon noona? Were you any nervous at all?”

Baekhyun looked at him curiously, but answered the question anyway.

“Honestly, it all came very naturally. Of course I was a bit nervous, but I didn’t really need to make a formal confession or anything”, Baekhyun smiled at the memory, “I guess I was pretty obvious about my feelings from the beginning…”

The older trailed off, and stared into space for a while until Chanyeol waved his hand in front of his face.

“Ok, that’s nice and all, but listen… How would it have been if she was the same gender as you… and if you two were in, say, the same group, how would you have confessed then? It, um, it would have been very different if that was the case, right?”

Chanyeol tried to sound like he was just asking a casual smalltalk question, but it was quite hard given that it was such a specific question. And as he feared, Baekhyun wasn’t deceived. The older looked at Chanyeol with a face of confusion mixed with curiosity.

“Why are you- oh. Don’t tell me… you _like_ someone in our group?”

Chanyeol’s first instinct was to lie and answer no to the question, but he realised he couldn’t really deny it since the answer was already obvious. At least Baekhyun probably wouldn’t judge him for it since he was a pretty open minded person, who surely didn’t have anything against people who happened to be, well, not straight.

“Y-yeah…” Chanyeol answered while looking down at his hands, knowing that he couldn’t get out of this situation.

“Seriously?! Who is it? It better not be Tao because then I might kill you.”

Chanyeol wasn’t sure if that was a joke or not, so he simply rolled his eyes at Baekhyun’s weird protectiveness of the Chinese maknae, deciding not to comment on it.

“It’s not Tao, it’s… uh… Jongdae.”

Chanyeol finally looked up at Baekhyun again and was met with an expression that didn’t look very shocked, or even a tiny bit surprised, at all.

“Ah, yeah, I guess I should’ve seen that one coming”, the older sighed, but soon had a change of emotions and burst out in a couple of giggles.

“Y-You seriously _like_ Jongdae! I mean it was pretty obvious to be honest, but still. _You have a crush on Jongdae_ , that’s hilarious”, he giggled some more, Chanyeol feeling his cheeks heat up with embarrassment. Why did he think going to Baekhyun for advice was a good, or, even decent, idea? He stood up and attempted to walk out of the room, feeling like the older was just making fun of him, but he was stopped.

“Hey, hey, wait! I’m sorry! You wanted advice, right? C’mere, we’ll talk”, the other said and actually sounded like he meant it, so Chanyeol went to sit down next to Baekhyun again.

“Do you have any actual advice for me, then?”

At that, Baekhyun nodded his head slowly, seemingly thinking over something.

“Well… is this just a small crush you’ve gotten because you’ve been around him for a long time, or is it really serious?”

“It… it’s serious, I think. I’ve felt like this for a long time, but I didn’t realise it until now.” Chanyeol had to look down, feeling a little embarrassed, because Baekhyun had his eyes directed at him, looking concentrated.

“It’s probably a bit cliché, but I’ve had crushes before, and none of them felt as intense as this”, Chanyeol spoke again, his feelings becoming clearer to him now that he was actually talking about them aloud.

“So you’d want a relationship with him, then?”

Chanyeol nodded, determined.

“Yeah, I am sure of that.”

“Then… you should confess to him. Really, you should. Look, I am not a relationship expert or anything like that, so that’s the best advice I can give you. I mean, it’s _Jongdae_. Have you seen the way he looks at you? He can barely take his eyes off you at times. And you’re so close to each other. Do you really think he’s gonna react negatively?”

Chanyeol’s stomach jumped. Did Baekhyun suggest that Jongdae might return his feelings? Well, of course he couldn’t trust Baekhyun to a 100 percent but, still. Maybe he really should try to confess to Jongdae, as everyone had told him.

“I guess _he_ wouldn’t judge me but… what about everyone else? I’m sure manager hyung and the people at SM won’t be too happy. And what if a lot of the fans start to hate me, or worse, the group?” Chanyeol just had to let out all of his worries at once. It almost felt therapeutic to have someone listening to his whining.

“Well, then they’re homophobic dickholes. And it’s not like you can’t be sneaky about it anyway. The risk of people getting to know about you two would be super low, SM would probably do anything to cover it up. But y’know how a lot of the fangirls would love it, anyway”, Baekhyun nudged Chanyeol playfully in his side, making the taller smile a bit.

“Seriously, stop worrying so much, where’s the happy and carefree Chanyeol I know?”

“Yeah, you… You’re right. Thanks, Baek. This actually helped”, Chanyeol said as a reply to Baekhyun’s supportive words.

“So, I suppose I’ll confess then”, Chanyeol rose to his feet and Baekhyun smiled widely at him.

“Yeah, go get ‘em, I’m rooting for you!” he said and did a “Fighting!”-gesture with his hand.

“…Seriously, I’m so happy about my beagle line dongsaengs right now”, Baekhyun then added in a quieter voice, suppressing a squeal as Chanyeol made his way out of the room.

 

\---

 

Even though it might’ve seemed like it, Chanyeol wasn’t going to confess right away. Instead, he thought a little bit about what the others had said. Junmyun had told him something about having a romantic dinner, and Yixing had given him the idea to serenade Jongdae with a song. Didn’t Tao say something about buying a gift, too? So during a hole in their schedule Chanyeol sat down with his phone and started to write down a plan for his confession.

He would try to get them to have the dorm (or at least the kitchen) for themselves, maybe he could ask their manager to take the others out or something. Then he would cook something delicious for the two of them (he supposed he could ask his mum for one of the recipes from her restaurant) and try to make their dinner together as romantic as possible. After that Chanyeol would bring out his guitar and perform a carefully selected song that he thought conveyed his feelings very well, and hopefully Jongdae would get the message and, preferably, return Chanyeol’s feelings. It was possibly a bit over the top, but Chanyeol still felt content with his plan.

  


That evening, Chanyeol decided to start practising on the song he would serenade Jongdae with. So while the others gathered around the TV to watch a movie, he went to his room.

Just as he was about to grab his guitar and start playing he heard a person knocking on his door. Said person turned out to be Jongdae, _of course_ , who entered without waiting for Chanyeol to answer.

“Hey, why aren’t you joining in on watching the movie?” he asked while he sat down on Chanyeol’s bed.

“I just don’t feel like it”, Chanyeol shrugged, “also, I’m feeling tired. Why aren’t you watching the movie with them?”

“I was just wondering what you were up to, and besides, the movie is kinda boring”, Jongdae said. Then he cracked a smile.

“So, what _are_ you up to?” he asked.

“Nothing, really”, Chanyeol sat down next to Jongdae on the bed, as long as he was there he wouldn’t be able to practice the song anyway. As a spur of the moment, he put his feet in Jongdae’s lap.

“My feet are hurting. Massage them for me”, Chanyeol said, and Jongdae made a grimace.

“Wow, ew! Do it yourself, I want nothing to do with your dirty feet”, and in a flash Jongdae pushed Chanyeol’s feet to the ground again. The younger pouted.

“I just showered, though. But okay, massage my shoulders instead”, he said, realising that his shoulders really did ache.

“…Alright then, but only because you massaged my back a few days ago”, Jongdae said and started grabbing Chanyeol’s shoulders. The younger immediately leaned into the touch, growing more relaxed with each squeeze. He had never had his shoulders massaged by Jongdae before, and he was pleasantly surprised by how well the other used his (perfect) hands. When he felt satisfied he promptly leaned backwards, putting his head in Jongdae’s lap, and then expressed his gratitude.

“Thanks Jongdae, I love you”, he breathed out without thinking, closing his eyes. At those words, the older’s body instantly stiffened. Chanyeol cracked open his eyes again to see what was going on, and was met with Jongdae’s face wearing a close to shocked expression. The wheels in Chanyeol’s head turned a few times before he realised what he actually had said. When he did, he rose up so fast he almost knocked his head with the other man’s.

“No, wait, I’m just kidding, I didn’t… I mean, it was only a joke! Haha”, Chanyeol blabbered, thinking with relief that he probably saved himself there, but then he saw Jongdae’s reaction. A deep frown had appeared on the other’s face and he almost looked… disappointed? No, that couldn’t be it, he was probably still a bit taken aback from Chanyeol’s slip of the tongue.

“You didn’t mean it?” Jongdae said, his voice somewhat smaller than usual. He seemed a bit let down, and Chanyeol could understand. He would also have reacted like that, if not even more severely, if Jongdae had told him he loved him only to brush it off as a joke.

“Yeah, I…” Chanyeol then suddenly thought about what Yixing and the others had said, that you should always be honest with your friends. He decided then that fuck it, he really couldn’t do anything but tell Jongdae about his feelings at this point, to hell with the confession plan he had made up before.

“…No. I mean, I meant it. I… I’ve really, really, _really_ liked you for a long time now. Like, y’know, um, different from how I’d feel for a friend”, Chanyeol then looked at Jongdae’s face in a moment of bravery and saw that the other was looking at him attentively, so he decided to continue, directing his gaze to his own lap again.

“And since we’re friends I suppose we should be honest with each other, and it feels like I’m lying to you every day when I’m pretending that I only like you as a friend. And it’s getting really difficult to hide my feelings, too. Like, I get all warm on the inside when I see you looking at me, because you have the nicest face in history, and it’s even worse when you’re smiling because your face does this thing that makes me kinda weak in the knees... and you also have the most beautiful singing voice I’ve ever heard, so nowadays I feel like I’m losing focus during our performances whenever you sing, and uh…” he took a moment to breathe and then continued, “I’m sorry if I appear too clingy at times, but I just try to find any excuse to touch you and hang around you and… yeah. I’m being super honest here so if you are going to reject me, please do it nicely”, Chanyeol finally finished rambling, not having looked at the other once, feeling embarrassed over his tendency to just babble out his thoughts without thinking. He internally cursed his lack of brain-to-mouth filter.

There was then an unsettling moment of silence between them until Jongdae spoke up.

“I like your smile.”

“What?” Chanyeol instinctively looked up and saw Jongdae grinning at him, cheeks flushed.

“Please smile, like you usually do”, the older said, “because I love when you do it.” Then he burst out in something that sounded suspiciously like giggles.

“Wh-why are you-?” Chanyeol sputtered, unsure of what to do since this wasn’t at all a reaction he’d foreseen.

“I- I don’t know… I just- I’m just so glad”, Jongdae said inbetween fits of laughter and soon Chanyeol joined in even though he was still a bit confused over the situation. But he couldn’t really help it since the other’s beautiful laugh was contagious, and laughter couldn’t be anything other than a positive reaction, right?

After just sitting there laughing for a while Jongdae composed himself.

“Okay, sorry, but you were just so cute when you confessed, you have no idea… And I’m feeling happy because I… mighthavefeelingsforyoutoojustsoyouknow”, the last part came out as a slur of words and Chanyeol tilted his head in confusion, although a smile was still stuck on his face.

“What?”

“I said that I’ve had similar feelings for you for a while, I mean, I like you, doofus”, Jongdae said while grinning down at his own lap, “I was just… overwhelmed with the way you confessed. And relieved. Mostly relieved.”

Chanyeol’s cheeks were threateningly close to aching because he was smiling so hard.

“Really!?” he almost shouted, “since when?”

“I don’t know, for a while? Like, I’ve always found you kinda cute and funny and, uh, attractive and stuff, but I don’t really know when I started liking you for real”, Jongdae answered with a shrug, looking somewhat embarrassed.

“Yeah, same here! I realised it pretty recently though, you know, that time when you helped me fall asleep? It was then i figured out my feelings for you”, Chanyeol said, suddenly not feeling nervous at all, the feeling of happiness and relief drowning out any other emotions. Jongdae smirked at his words.

“Hm, yeah, you actually pecked me that morning. Not very subtle.”

“Yeah, but you blushed when I did it!” Chanyeol defended his actions.

“Maybe”, Jongdae replied and then silence ensued between them. Chanyeol took the moment to observe the face of the man sitting in front of him. The slightly crooked eyebrows, the prominent cheekbones, the long eyelashes… When Chanyeol’s eyes directed themselves to the lips, the beautiful lips that were curved into a soft smile, there was only one thing that he could think of.

“Does this mean I can kiss you for real now?” he asked bluntly and Jongdae snorted, rolling his eyes.

“Yes, yes you can kiss me for real now, Chanyeol”, the older said and Chanyeol, satisfied with the answer, slowly leaned forward.

It felt like it took ages before their lips touched, but when they did, Chanyeol thought he was going to explode, or something. Actually feeling those lips against his own felt even better than what he’d imagined. Jongdae’s lips were very soft, and Chanyeol’s heart was racing when he realised that _he was actually doing this_ , _he was actually kissing Jongdae_ , and it felt _amazing_.

Chanyeol attempted to move forward in order to get even closer to the other, but instead managed to clumsily lose balance and fall on top of his shorter friend (boyfriend?). Not wanting to make things awkward, he immediately tried to sit up again, but a hand from Jongdae stopped him.

“Don’t stop, stupid”, the older said and Chanyeol found that he didn’t mind being called stupid at all, if it was said by the right person in the right situation. He just smiled widely in response, and bent down to let their lips meet for a second time.

This time he attempted to deepen the kiss, and Jongdae seemed to agree with his actions, opening his mouth just a little. Chanyeol was then met with the warm sensation of the other’s tongue, and it was strange, but still pretty damn great to get to explore the mouth of his close friend and bandmate. He had to try his hardest to restrain his urge to moan, but Jongdae didn’t make things easier when he put his hands on Chanyeol’s back, pressing the taller even closer. Jongdae’s mouth was warm and tasted of something sweet, and that combined with the fact that their bodies were almost dangerously close made Chanyeol eventually release a deep sigh into the other’s mouth. Soon after that, Jongdae also made a somewhat loud sound of content, which made Chanyeol’s insides feel like they were doing those cool flips Tao did on stage sometimes.

When Chanyeol heard that both he and Jongdae started to breathe heavily, their air supplies running low, he broke the kiss and rolled off of the other. He placed himself right next to Jongdae, smiling upon seeing that his lips had become significantly redder.

“Wow, I never thought I’d actually kiss _you_ of all people”, Jongdae said, turning to his side so he was facing Chanyeol.

“Why, did you not want to kiss me, or?”

“No, I just thought that… if I two years ago heard that I would be kissing my goofy rapper bandmate I wouldn’t have believed it”, the older said, then added “Of course I wanted to kiss you.”

“Yeah, who wouldn't want to kiss this?” Chanyeol made a motion with his hand over his face, which made Jongdae chuckle a bit.

“Isn’t it too early in our relationship for you to be cocky?” he asked the taller who just grinned.

“It’s never to early to be cocky”, Chanyeol stated, heart jumping over the fact that Jongdae had called their thing a ‘relationship’.

“Is that an implication?”

“If… if you want it to be”, Chanyeol tried to answer smoothly, but judging from the way his cheeks burned at Jongdae’s question, his face was probably a bright red colour. Jongdae, whose face also looked a little bit flushed, simply leaned forward at that, capturing Chanyeol’s lips again.

For a couple of minutes the two just shared a bunch of small, fluttering kisses, and when they paused for a moment Chanyeol just had to ask.

“We are a thing now, right? In a relationship. You’re my boyfriend.” The last part was said more as a statement than a question, but Jongdae nodded.

“Should we tell the others about it? Okay, yeah, maybe not _right now_ since it’s late and all, but soon?”

“Hm, yeah, that’s probably good. We won’t really be able to hide it for long, anyway”, Jongdae replied, and then added “I… might’ve told Baekhyun about my feelings though. So he already kinda knows.”

“Yeah, but he’s cool- wait. You told him that you liked me? So”, Chanyeol paused for a second when the realisation hit him, “… _HE KNEW_! That bastard! That’s why he laughed when I told him, oh my god, it makes sense-”

“You told him too?”

“YES! And he just played dumb, even though he already knew that you liked me back!” Chanyeol couldn’t believe it. Why didn’t Baekhyun just tell him, so that he was spared of all the nervousness and worry? Jongdae answered that question for him, even if Chanyeol hadn’t even said it out loud.

“Well, it’s good that he didn’t tell you. I mean, since it was my secret that he promised to keep. And also, if he’d told you, you wouldn’t have confessed to me in such a cute manner, I’m sure.”

“Hm, I see what you mean… I guess it’s better to act on your own accord instead of having someone else doing it for you. I still can’t believe he hid it so well, though, I had no idea!” Chanyeol exclaimed.

“Yeah I guess he’s-” Jongdae suddenly interrupted his sentence in order to yawn,”b-better at acting than we thought.”

Chanyeol tried not to make unmanly sounds at Jongdae’s cute yawning.

“Are you tired?”

“Oh, sure, I am… It’s been a long day.”

“True, I guess I’m pretty tired, too”, Chanyeol stated, it was late after all.

“Is it fine if I sleep here?” Jongdae asked, and when Chanyeol nodded (with maybe a little bit too much enthusiasm) he reached out to gently stroke the side of the younger’s head in an affectionate and familiar gesture.

 

\---

 

When the movie had ended, the eight of them, Baekhyun included, went to bed. But before that the vocalist decided that he just _had_ to check in on his two friends who had been absent during the movie-watching.

After receiving no answer when knocking softly on the door, Baekhyun opened it slightly to look in. He had to resist his immediate urge to snicker when he saw the sight in front of him.

The two were sleeping facing each other, blanket laying forgotten at the other end of the bed as they snuggled against one another. There was only a couple of centimetres of space between their faces, and both wore peaceful expressions. One of Jongdae’s hands was comically resting in Chanyeol’s hair, almost tangled in the dark mess of strands, but for some reason the younger was still sleeping soundly.

Baekhyun couldn’t fight the smile off of his face as he gently shut the door again.

 

**Author's Note:**

> jESUS THIS WASNT SUPPOSED TO BE THIS LONG WHAT HAVE I DONE  
> this is completely plotless, sorry for that. hope the fluff makes up for it, though (i know it doesn't bc i suck at writing fluff *frustrated wailing*)  
> thanks for reading! (also have you seen [this picture](https://fbcdn-sphotos-d-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xap1/t31.0-8/11002667_371918449666705_7941996027691345373_o.jpg) because if you haven't you should)


End file.
